Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize
