where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize
