It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
the liver wants what the liver wants
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
