I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Randomize
