There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
