Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
