I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
This house was built for laser tag.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
