Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
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