Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
You made out with two different species that night
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
