that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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