You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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