if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
