To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
