yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
