I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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