Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
My ass is underappreciated
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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