so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
