i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
vagina is talking i cant
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
