Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
We're not piercing ourselves today.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
