I saw his package. It spoke to me.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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