Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
