how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Randomize
