I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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