Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
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