i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Randomize
