call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Randomize
