If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
