This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
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