im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
