after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
