What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
accomplished twins. life is a go
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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