Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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