I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
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