we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
