we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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