I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
