:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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