Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Randomize
