I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
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