found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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