you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
