Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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