he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
vagina is talking i cant
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Randomize
