she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
