Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
