i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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