so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
