I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
