were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
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