Fine. I'll sleep in my office
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Randomize
